Updated: Apr 25, 2021
Friends are one of the many things that make life colorful. However, we sometimes place so much emphasis on finding “the love of our life” that we forget friends can be our soulmates too.
Although you can be happy, fulfilled, and single, good friends can improve your quality of life and enhance your experiences. Matter of fact, studies show having friends can positively influence your happiness and life satisfaction. Some research goes as far as saying the quantity and quality of social interactions you have early in life can predict how lonely you’ll be, wellbeing, and depression 30 years down the line.
Let’s face it, despite this “I don’t need anyone and I can survive alone” rhetoric, it feels good to have someone you can call a friend! So, how do you find the friends of your dreams?
Here are some helpful tools for those interested in learning how to manifest new friends.
What is Manifesting?
The art of manifesting isn’t new, but it’s gaining more popularity these days. Between March and July 2020 alone, the term went up 669 percent in Google; meaning tons of people have been researching the topic.
What is manifesting anyway?
It's about using your thoughts, intentions, and energy to help you achieve a goal. Some people liken manifestation to praying and believing or the law of attraction.
How to Manifest Friends
When you’re trying to get the job or career of your dreams, how much work do you put into it? You probably do things like develop new skills, research prospective employers, explore company cultures, and think about what you can contribute to their dynamic.
Manifesting the friends of your dreams also takes careful thought, intention, and strategy. Now, let’s look into how to attract better friends through manifestation.
1. Set Your Intentions
The first step to take when trying to attract your tribe is setting your intentions. How does that work? Think about what a healthy friendship looks like to you. This would be a good time to explore things you don’t like and what your deal breakers are. Remember, it’s better to have one healthy friendship than five toxic ones.
In a longitudinal study performed on 7,481 older adults, strains from friendships predicted chronic illnesses over a 6 year period. Keep this in mind when setting your intentions -- you want to manifest friends who will bring you peace, joy, and fun!
When setting your intentions, write them in a journal; there is power in writing things down. During journaling sessions, you can ask yourself a few clarifying questions so you have a clear idea of what you’re looking for.
Some potential questions include:
What qualities does my ideal friend have?
Can they speak my love language?
Where do they hang out? Do we need common interests?
How will I benefit from the relationship?
What will I give to the relationship?
What are my boundaries within a friendship?
How do I want to handle conflict with my friends?
At some point in life, we all experience friend breakups, and that can also make us downplay the importance of friendships. The fear of hurt and rejection can limit us to surface-level interactions and deprive us of the fulfilling friendships we truly desire. This is why healing from past hurts is so important.
If you don’t take the time to do this, you may judge new friends by the mistakes past ones made. Unresolved pain can also make it difficult for you to be open, vulnerable, and fully authentic with new people.
Some tools you can use to heal include journaling about your feelings, identifying what worked and did not work in previous friendships, allowing yourself to grieve, practicing self-compassion, and speaking with a therapist.
2. Create Affirmations to Attract Friends
Once you know what you’re looking for in a friend, you can create statements that will help shift your thoughts and attract what you want. These are also known as affirmations—declarations that reinforce positive thoughts, values, and desires.
A study on self-affirmations and their impact on brain systems shows affirmations can restore self-competence as they cause you to reflect on core values and your self-worth. You may be relieved to know affirmations aren’t just an overrated trend and they actually have the power to transform your life.
You can find examples of affirmations to manifest friends in the infographic below.
Once you create affirmations, read them daily and have fun with it. You can write them on post-its, set them as reminders on your phone, or record them in a voice note and play it while you sleep.
3. Daydream and Visualize
This is where manifesting friends gets fun. You get the chance to center your inner child and daydream about how you’ll feel about your friends when you finally meet them. Visualization will help evoke the positive emotions associated with your affirmations, which are needed for best results. When you can see it and feel it, you’re steps closer to achieving it.
How will having healthy friends make you feel? What activities will you do together?
For example, I could take a few minutes a day to imagine my friend being there to hug me when I'm going through a hard time. I could also imagine doing things I love with them, like painting, taking trips, and having slumber parties. Take a few minutes a day to let your mind wander and bask in all the warm feelings your visualizations bring. Meditation is another powerful tool you can use to visualize, too.
4. Be Proactive
Manifestation isn’t a quick fix for you attracting good friends; you still have to be intentional. If you want to meet new friends, start acting like you have the friends you want and be proactive about attracting them.
Here are some examples of ways to do this:
Make a conscious effort to be in places your ideal friends would hang out
Be open to new friendships (don’t be too guarded)
Speak positively on the topic
Network on social platforms (Bumble, Instagram, Linkedln, Clubhouse, etc.)
Join groups that align with your interests (FB groups can be gold)
5. Be What You Want to Attract
If you want to attract healthy friends, start by being one. Make a conscious effort to improve the friendship you have with yourself and focus on the basics. Talk to yourself kindly when you make mistakes and show yourself care and affection when you’re facing difficulties. Likewise, you should also celebrate yourself regularly and prioritize your needs.
While being the kind of friend you want is important, you don’t have to be perfect to deserve good and loving friends. However, if your imperfections are toxic, it can be counterproductive as you may scare away the friends you’re trying to attract.
For example, if you want a reliable friend but you never keep to your word, it may be difficult to keep a friend who does. That said, be mindful of your characteristics that need work and strengthen them (but do it from a place of love, not criticism).
Most things tie back to self-love, so while you wait, work on loving and accepting yourself. Set healthy boundaries with those around you and work on respecting those of others. Be authentic, be true to your values, and be true to who you are. It will make doing these same things for your new friends easier when they finally come along.
Now that you know how to manifest a friend, get excited about it and get started.